I needed to get to the top of the hill to rescue the little bitch or whatever.
About halfway up I stopped and checked twitter and I lost track of time and shit my pants. When I got to the top of the hill it was too late so I checked twitter again while I was thinking about how I was going to solve my pants problem. But I couldn't solve it so I got a rash.
Doctor: ... I see. I'm prescribing a zinc cream, just put a little on each morning and your rash should go away on it's own after a few days. If not please make another appointment. It's important to wash regularly to avoid this happening again.